The Haunting of Luke Skywalker
by Skyla Talon
Summary: Someone's haunting the rebel base...can Leia and Han figure things out...without laughing? Yeah I don't think so... Started out as a one-shot, but now its a collection. Since it all involves Luke 'haunting' people, I am not going to change the title. I'll keep it marked complete since I don't know when I'll update this again. Latest chapter: Han is a tattletale!
1. Luke Han Leia

How Luke Found Out...

Luke was having a bad month. He had just stabbed in the heart...by Sidious's red lightsaber..._again_. "I'm telling you Leia! This is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me! I mean...ever since the **Incident**..." Luke shook his head as he stared at his seemingly undamaged chest.

His best friend, that he lately highly suspected actually is his long lost sister, frowned as she leaned forward to poke him playfully where the injury should have been at. "Maybe its a good thing that you haven't died yet? I mean... since the Incident happened you have been far more aware of the force, and its like you know of danger before the rest of us...even me!" The former princess of Alderraan burst out laughing as she tossed her head back in humor.

Han walked in right then, concern flaring in his eyes as he looked at her. "Um? Leia...?"

"Hey Han." Luke greeted his friend, well he lightly still referred to him as a friend, ever since the Incident three months prior, Han has refused to even acknowledge Luke's presence.

Leia waited patiently for Han to acknowledge Luke, before sighing. "What is it Han?"

"Well...I was thinking things over...and I was just wondering...with how hard these last few months have been without Luke here, how you been holding up?" Han shifted nervously, as if worried about her reaction to that.

Leia burst out laughing, even as Luke rolled his eyes. Seriously? He was just sitting right there in front of Han! "Han...Luke is right here. Honestly! He's been worried sick...you've been ignoring him for the last three months..."

"Princess...Luke's been dead for the last three months. You never showed for his funeral though... and we're all getting really worried about your sanity." Han shifted nervously.

"What?!" Luke and Leia screeched in perfect unison. "Han...listen here...I am right in front of you! Come on! You can't pull this kind of thing on your best friend!" Luke went to slap Han...only for his hand to slip right through him.

Han shivered taking a step back. "Why did it just got cold all of a sudden?"

Leia paled as she looked between the two men. "Probably because Luke just tried to slap you in a sign of humor...but his hand went straight through you...gah! I've been taking a ghost on missions!"

"I'm dead!?" Luke was by now hyperventilating...

"Luke! Calm down! Breathe...never thought I would tell a ghost that." Leia blinked as she attempted to pull Luke down.

"I'm DEAD!?"

"Luke...Han! Now look what you did! Force! Help me calm Luke down!" Leia snapped nearly whacking her boyfriend.

Han's eyes widened as he realized that she wasn't joking. "Luke's been haunting us without knowing he was dead!?" Han paused, before repeating that again. "Luke's been haunting us without knowing he was dead... mwhaha!" Han doubled over laughing.

"I'M dead!?"

Leia planted her hands on her hips as she looked between the two men in the room with her. One was freaking out over his, uh apparent living status...and the other was on the floor laughing. "Han! Knock it off! Honestly...I didn't know he was dead either! I thought everyone was just ignoring him!"

Han stopped at that, though a frown crossed his features. "How did you not know he was dead?! You saw his body same has the rest of us!"

Leia frowned, thinking back to the beginning of this all. "I didn't think it was him...I mean the timeline didn't lined up cause I had just conversed with him over what is now known as the Incident."

"Great...so someone did get Luke's Point of View on it. Wonderful." Han grumbled, crossing his arms.

"I'M DEAD!?"

Leia snapped, slapping, well attempting to slap, her friend. "Luke! We get it! You are one with the Force now! Stop repeating the whole you're dead mantra already!"

Luke blinked, her words washing over him. "Ah man... Leia...I'm your brother."

Leia froze, looking at him, then glancing at Han. Han tilted his head to the side, curious about what is going on. "What did he said?"

"Nothing!" "So...Han. Let's talk about how you better be treating my sis..."

Leia found a nearby wall to bang her head against, while Luke listed hopefully idle threats, not too sure about the haunt you for the rest of your life one though... and Han stood there confused.

**A/N: So...what happened was that Cat came up to me and asked if I had noticed that she had updated...then she noticed I was reading. When she asked what I was reading, instead of telling her that I was reading her update, I bluntly told her that Luke just got stabbed in the heart for the fifth time with a lightsaber. And then I continued on to tell her that for some reason, Leia and Sidious were the only ones that could see him. She told me that sounded interesting and left. Once I finished reading her updates (two stories not just one) I quickly typed up this little one shot. It will stay a one shot if you want it to. If you want more...like a chapter one what the incident was...maybe even the missions that Leia took Luke on... send in a REVIEW! I need ten reviews from ten different people to continue this. Also...if I know you in real-life...your reviews don't count towards the ten. Just saying...**

**Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review!**

**SkyTalon**


	2. Vader

How Vader Found Out...

"Luke! Luke!" Han tore across the crowded hallway, heading straight to his girlfriend.

Leia glanced back at him, before glancing at what appeared to be thin air to Han. He however knew that his best friend was hovering there, possibly discussing his latest 'mission' with her. "Need something, Han?" Leia calmly asked, even as someone muttered something about the both of them losing their minds.

Han snagged Leia by the arm, quickly tugging her towards an empty room. "Not here. Somewhere...more private." The two of them were the only members of the Rebellion, so far, that knew that Luke Skywalker was technically still with them. It didn't help that Leia was the only that could actually see him.

Leia arched her right eyebrow upwards. Still, she dutifully ducked inside, closing and locking the door behind them. She turned to face Han, only to suddenly sigh, rolling her eyes skyward. "Maybe I closed the door on your face so that I could get a kiss or two in first."

"Leia!" Han yelped, having not realized she did that. Hoping that he was looking in the correct direction, he apologized profusely. "I am so sorry Kid. She wasn't supposed to do that. I was just thinking about a great way we can prank Vader."

_~Swap over to the force-sensitive view~_

Luke rubbed his chin as he eyed his best friend. "What kind of prank?" The rebel leaders were still buzzing over the fact that, despite the fact Luke's been dead for the past few months, Vader still hasn't called off his bounty for Luke. Which naturally made him curious on why it was still there.

Leia groaned, mumbling something about boys being idiots, before entering her role of translator. "Luke wants to know what kind of prank."

Han rubbed his hands together, excitement dancing in his eyes. "We get our captured by Vader...then you go and haunt him! He'll call of his bounty for sure with that and..."

"When do we start?" Luke brightened up, liking the sound of that. Particularly since Han remembered that Luke didn't like leaving his sister's side, or being unable to help Han if he gets in trouble by making it so that they will be with him. "I can open the cell door to let you guys out within minutes."

Leia groaned louder this time, running her hand down her face. "Am I the only one that sees how wrong this can go?"

Han, who might have taken a full week to recover from discovering that his girlfriend and best friend were siblings, grinned even bigger at that. "How soon do you want to start, Luke?"

Luke tilted his head, thinking things through. He no longer had any missions...or other duties, to the rebellion. Something about him being dead to begin with. Han and Leia however were very much alive and busy. "Now works with me if it'll work with you two."

Leia clapped her hands together, determination to snip this in the bud dancing in her eyes. "Now does not work for us. We have a meeting to go to."

Han pouted for five seconds. The reason why he stopped pouting was because the intercom crackled to life. _"Attention everyone. The Council Meeting is being postponed till tomorrow. I repeat, the Council Meeting is being postponed till tomorrow. Have a good day."_

Han grinned, turning to face the wall on the opposite side of the room. "Looks like now will work after all." Leia stifled a groan, reaching out to turn him around so that he was facing Luke. "Let's get going before someone tries to stop us."

"Please...someone stop us." Leia groaned, still not impressed with the guys. If only they didn't need her to let Han know where Luke is or what he is saying!

...

As it turned out to be, no one stopped them, presuming that Han and Leia were going on another date... since they couldn't see that Luke was with them this time. Leia took over the piloting, after arguing with Luke on how ghosts couldn't fly ships. Leia frowned, considering whether or not she should bang her head as Han purposely missed an easy target. "Han! You're making it too easy for them!"

Luke materialized next to her, crossing his arms in annoyance. "So? That's the point, sis. They catch us and we prank them so hard and good they'll be crying for their mommies."

"Seriously am I the only that sees that this is a really bad idea?" Leia grumbled under breath, even as she crossed her arms, not even attempting to avoid the tractor beam that shot out to trap them.

Luke rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Sweet! Let's get this party on the road!"

Han came tearing inside, dropping his weaponry down on the floor. "Come on Leia! You've got to admit that this is exciting!"

Leia shot him a withering look. "No...this just proves that we need to find you more missions to do...for both of you!"

"Ah, but Leia!" Luke and Han whined in unison.

The ship jolted as it landed in the enemy's hangar, followed closely by the hissing of the door opening. A squad of stormtroopers marched on board, three sets of handcuffs in their hands. Upon only seeing two rebels, since Luke was invisible to them, they stopped in their tracks. "Uh...didn't Lord Vader say that there were three rebels on board?"

"Looks like he needs to learn how to count." Han muttered under his breath, a snigger already rising from him. Luke quickly swatted him, his hand going through him.

Han straightened up, a slight shiver rippling through him the only signal that he felt Luke doing that. Still grumbling to themselves, the stormtroopers quickly cuffed the young couple. "Come on...Lord Vader wants to speak with you..."

"Wait...that wasn't part of the plan!" All three of them yelped in pure panic.

The bucket-clad men froze, turning to face the three rebels, well they think they were looking at two. "Plan? You actually wanted us to capture you!?"

"It was his idea!" Leia hurriedly pointed to her boyfriend, before grumbling to herself. "I couldn't talk any sense into him unfortunately." Speaking up, she whined pitifully at them. "You would think that dating my brother's best friend would mean that they would listen to me...but no! Now look at the mess I'm in." She shook her head, tsking with her tongue...while the two young men that she mentioned erupted in protest.

"Whatever. Come on. He's waiting for you."

A few minutes later found the stumped on what to do...or explain this to the Rebel Council once they get back, rebels standing in the bridge of the _Executor._ With Vader standing before them. Vader's heavy breathing filled the air as he stared at them intensely. "Leave the prisoners here. I want to have a little...why isn't Skywalker cuffed?"

"Um...sir? There is only the two...there wasn't a third one." One of the stormtroopers asked.

Leia decided to brighten things up. "Look on the bright side. You now know that none of these men are force-sensitive."

If she could see the stormtroopers faces, she would be every impressed with how fast they paled. Vader stared at her, clearly not amused that they appeared to have found a way to turn people invisible that didn't work on force-sensitives. "Leave men. Now." The stormtroopers fled out of there as if their lives counted on it. "Luke Skywalker...I've been meaning to talk to you about your father..."

Leia tensed, even as Luke growled lowly. "You mean the man that _YOU_ killed?"

"No. I did not kill him." Vader growled out, clearly annoyed as he kept eye contact with Luke.

Luke scoffed, crossing his arms across his chest. "If you didn't kill him, then who did?"

"No one. I am your father." Vader reached out, as if to grab him by the arm. Luke took a quick step back, sensing that he was telling the truth, and not really wanting to know what he will do if he revealed that he was dead.

"You're...telling the truth." Luke glanced sideways at his sister, worried how she would take that.

Vader noticed, and immediately growled with anger. "You should be loyal to me! Not your friends!"

Leia however took one look at her biological father...and then turned her head away from him. "Great...now I wish that we hadn't figured out that we are twins separated at birth."

"I have a daughter?!" "I'm dating Vader's daughter?!" There was a loud bang as Han found a nearby wall and started to hit his head against it.

Luke timidly spoke up, stepping between his father and sister, the former looking as if he wanted to to pull her in for a hug. "Um...is now a bad time to mention that I am dead and that is why the bucketheads didn't see me?"

"Wait...what?!" And now Vader was angry. Leia rolled her eyes, before reaching over and pulling Han away from the wall. "Way to go Luke...we haven't even pranked him yet!"

Both of her fellow rebels turned to stare at her. "You were the most adamant one against pranking Vader..."

**A/N: Done! And now Vader knows...and Leia and Luke now know who their father is! And Han knows too and is not impressed with who his girlfriend's old man turned out to be. Don't worry...Vader is going to threaten his men to not hurt a hair on Leia or Han's heads or else... Han is just cause he's dating Leia and Luke likes him. Vader doesn't think that he is good enough for her, but he is trying to prove that he can be an...overly protective father? Yeah...more like he is wrapped around their fingers kind of father...**

**Review! (Yes I know I don't have ten reviews yet...)**

**SkyTalon**


	3. Luke is Bored

I'm Bored.._**.IDEA!**_

Luke crossed his arms as he listened to the Rebel Council outline the plan on how to stop the Empire from getting a hold of an important shipment of building supplies, most likely going to be used to rebuild the Death Star, and the possibilty of saving a group of rebels being held prisoner on board the Executor. Stifling a yawn, Luke vaguely wondered if anyone would mind if he disappeared for a bit since this was just boring. And it wasn't like anyone was going to give him an assignment anyways. He was dead after all! Glancing over at his sister and best friend, he noted that both of them weren't even looking in his direction. Ok, Han not looking made sense. Leia on the other hand could still see him. Though her attention appeared to be solely on the meeting taking place in front of her.

Smirking to himself, he quickly vanished into the Force. He was bored and they technically didn't need him. Time to have some fun. And it wasn't like his father could _ground_ him or anything.

...

Luke sniggered as he changed the settings on the hundredth blaster that he came across since arriving on his father's flagship. So far no one noticed what he was doing. He wasn't entirely sure if that was a good idea or not... but he honestly didn't care. He placed the blaster back where he found it next to the stormtrooper that was standing guard at the entrance to the ship's holding cells. Taking a step back, he glanced over at the control panel for the cells. All he had to do was release his fellow rebels from their cells...

"Luke... I can see you. Come with me." Vader suddenly stepped in front of Luke, exasperation flooding his voice.

"Yes Father." Luke tried, and majorly failed at acting meek. Maybe smirking was a bad idea.

Vader rolled his eyes skyward, don't ask how Luke knew _that_. "This way." Vader briskly walked down the hall, without checking to make sure that Luke was following him.

Luke waited patiently until they were at Vader's private quarters, before taking a small step back away from his father. "Wish I could stay and chat, but Leia is probably aware that I'm missing by now. See ya around!" Luke quickly disappeared into the Force again, bursting out laughing as Vader roared his name.

Stepping back out of the Force, Luke found himself standing in the now empty meeting room. Leia turned to glare at him, her hands planted firmly on her hips. "Where have you been mister?"

Han sighed as he stopped scanning the area around them to turn in the direction that she was looking. "Oh good. I'm taking it that you're back finally."

Luke shrugged, a grin on his face. "Father isn't happy with me at the moment. On the bright side. All of the bucketheads guarding our fellow rebels have, um, confetti guns instead of blasters that will kill us if you leave right now."

"Luke! Han, go tell High Command that I _strongly_ feel that they should move the rescue mission up to this very second." Leia turned to her boyfriend, her voice deceitfully calm, though her eyes gave away her frustration with her brother.

"Sure thing. Uh...Luke where is the Executor anyways?" Han figured that if Leia wanted to move the rescue mission up that must mean Luke did something to make it easier on them.

Luke bit his bottom lip as he wondered if maybe telling them wouldn't be a good idea. "Just outside. They're parked next to us. Pretty sure that the only reason why they haven't boarded yet is because Father knows we're on board."

Leia slapped her face, a groan escaping her as she dragged her hand down. "Look out the window and call all of us idiots for not noticing sooner."

Han hurried over to a window, peering out of it to see the Executor right next door. "Safe for me to guess that your old man has something to do with the fact that they haven't attacked yet?"

"Yeah. And you might wanna find a way to warn the High Command about the condition the holding cells are in. I wish I weren't dead so that I can get lock in there." Luke mock pouted as he thought back to the conditions the holding cells had undertaken.

Han rolled his eyes, one eyebrow shooting upwards. "Didn't you two help slash took over the holding cells for six months to give them a complete renovation? And dear old darthy let you get away with it because you complained about the conditions it was in?"

"Yeah... I can honestly tell you that our fellow rebels are taking full advantage of that spa Leia insisted on." Luke scowled, as if he didn't agree that was a good idea.

Leia rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. "Better than that fully equipped gym that you put in. I mean seriously? Why would you do that?"

Han shook his head, muttering something about needing to find someone to be friends with that didn't have Vader wrapped around their fingers.

**A/N: Done! Hmm... now I need to do a one-shot about Luke and Leia renovating the holding cells on the Executor. And now I want to get captured by Vader so that I can get the spa treatment. Not too sure about the gym though... not much of an athlete. Maybe some workouts to keep me in shape? Anyways I think the rebellion is going to be completely baffled when they find out that the holding cells have basically been turned into a five star resort for them. Wait... How is Emperor Sidious gonna react to that!?**

**Review!**

**SkyTalon**


	4. Renovating the Holding Cells

Renovating the Holding Cells...

Luke casually passed through several of the holding cells aboard Vader's ship, noting the condition that they were in. Which to say, they looked like holding cells that were used frequently. An idea began to form in the back of his mind on something that he _might_ be able to convince Vader into doing. Luke quickly popped over to the middle of the rebel command ship, landing right behind Han. Mon Mothma was talking about some kind of raid that was supposed to be taking place in a couple of weeks. Luke leaned forward, and spoke normally, knowing that only Leia, who was sitting next to Han, would hear him.

"Let's ask Darthy if we can renovate the holding cells." Leia shifted slightly, glancing over at him as if he had lost it, but quickly returned her attention back to the meeting.

Han noticed Leia's sideways glance, and shifted slightly over, so as to put some space between them. "He's back, ain't he?" He muttered quietly so that no one could hear him.

"Yeah... Han? My brother and I have a meeting with our dear very specific family member. Do you want to come with?" Leia murmured back, not bothering to clarify who it was the meeting was with. She didn't wait for his answer, before smiling at him. "Thanks Han. We really appreciate it."

"I was going to say no... I'm pretty sure he wants to kill me." Han rolled his eyes skyward, puzzled on why she wanted to visit the Executor again. They had only gotten back from a family dinner there just last night. An experience that Han would rather avoid repeating, though Vader's comment as they were leaving made it clear that he expected family dinner's with the three, four? was Luke there?, of them to be a regular thing.

"Too bad. We're going to have a lot of fun..." Leia rolled her eyes, making it clear that Han doesn't have a choice in the matter.

Han groaned, as he leaned forward, planting his chin in the palm of his hand. Someone should have warned him that dating Vader's daughter, while it had some perks, really was just a bad idea!

...

Luke sniggered at the annoyed expression Han had planted firmly on his features, even as he reached up and began the sequence to jump out of hyperspace. "I can't believe you talked me into this Leia! I would yell at you two Luke, but I can't see nor hear you." Han grumbled to no one in particular.

Luke shrugged, crossing his arms across his chest as he watched as the Executor came back into view. "I know...and I don't particularly care...as long as you treat my sister good."

Leia rolled her eyes skyward as she turned to face her brother. "Luke, we've been over this. No threatening Han to take good care of me. That's Darthy's job."

Han swallowed hard at that, noting in his mind to make sure that Leia was always the one to instigate breakups. As well as make sure that they never got to that point in their relationship. Han quickly docked the Millennium Falcon in the on board hangar that Vader had ordered remain empty at all times for their personal use. Turning the ship off, he turned to face them. "So...are we going to go straight to him, or go wait for him in his private quarters?"

"No need. He's here." Luke and Leia spoke in unison, not that Han knew that, moving in tangent to the door.

Han glanced out the window to see that Vader was standing in the hangar, staring at the ship expectantly. Han groaned loudly, before standing up and following the twins out the door. Maybe they should let Chewie in on everything..?

"Hey there Vader." "Hi Darthy." "May we burrow some of your time Father?"

Vader appeared to stare at Han for several seconds, before turning to face Luke. "What is it my son?"

Luke lifted his hands up, placing them in the beg position. "Can we _please_ renovate the holding cells that you have on board? Pretty please?"

Vader was silent for five seconds, before he nodded his head in agreement. "Very well. You may renovate the holding cells." He reached into his pocket and pulled out three different credit cards. "You may use these to pay for the job. Once the money runs out though, you are going to have to compromise."

"Sweet!" Leia and Luke began jumping up and down, clapping their hands together, stars dancing in their eyes.

Han groaned, shaking his head as he looked at Vader. "You've got to learn how to say no to those two..."

...

How it was that the stormtroopers were ignoring the blueprints for what had to be a five star resort hovering midair, was a mystery that Han didn't want to know the answer to. "Okay... I just sent the plumbers and electricians in...and Luke can you puh-lease put that down before you scare someone half to death?"

Luke sighed loudly, before sitting it down and turning away from Han to face Leia who was watching as the men that they had contracted worked on building a new spa area in the holding cells. "Sis? I thought we agreed on a gym...not a spa!"

Leia sighed, before turning to argue with Luke. "I feel as if a spa would be better than a gym..."

"We still have that shooting range that I wanted in there right?" Han frowned, worry creasing his brow.

"Yes Han...we still have a shooting range. In fact, it should be done by now." Luke sighed dramatically as he turned to face his best friend.

The bewildered men that had stopped working on the spa to listen to what appeared to be a one sided argument, glanced at each other before their leader spoke up. "How much money do you have?"

"Until these cards run out." Leia held up the three cards that Vader had handed over to her.

"May I see one?" The leader held his hand out.

Leia handed it over nonchalantly, watching as he swiped the card through. "There's enough money on this card alone to pay for both the spa and a full sized gym. Would you like us to do that?"

"Yes!" The twins crowed loudly as they punched the air in excitement.

Vader entered the holding cells right then, his heavy breathing filling the air as he approached the men that they had hired. Leia waved cheerfully at him, oblivious to the fact that the men were petrified at the sight of the Sith Lord. "Hi Darthy! Guess what? You gave us enough money to put in both a spa and a gym in here!"

"_Darthy?! _ My lord, I assure that she didn't mean that..." The leader, unaware how normal it is for her to call him that, turned to apologize to Vader.

Vader stared at him as if he had lost it, before speaking slowly. "She is my daughter... she's allowed to call me whatever her little heart desires. Isn't that right precious princess?"

Leia wrinkled her nose for five seconds, before handing him a piece of paper. "I think confetti guns for the guards to use instead of blasters would be much more fun."

"Anything for you..." Vader nodded, and then left to see about purchasing five thousand confetti guns for his men to use instead of blasters.

The construction men decided that they probably should treat her as if she were Vader himself, quite suddenly terrified.

~Six Months of Construction Later~

Han peeked into yet another holding cell, one eyebrow raised as he examined the plush living space and the door that lead to the private bedroom. "Man... what do I have to do to get Vader to retract his order for his men to ignore me? I would not mind being his prisoner." Turning to where Leia, and he hoped Luke, stood, he grinned at them. "You guys out did yourselves. I am so glad that I am a family friend..."

"You are a friend of my children...not a family friend." Vader materialized out of nowhere, exasperation flooding his voice.

Han mumbled an apology, before turning to the others. "We probably should get going. We've been here for the past six months."

"Bye Darthy!" "Bye Father." Luke was the only one out of the twins that didn't fling himself on top of Vader for a hug.

**A/N: Done! I figured that I needed to go back and write how they renovated the holding cells. Hmm, let's give the prisoners a private shooting range...that sounds smart. Also, Leia calls Vader Darthy, while Luke calls him Father...and Han is right. Vader needs to learn how to say no to his babies. Another thing, each card had about three million credits on it. So yeah... imagine hundreds of holding cells filled to the brim of things that are extremely expensive. He could have just given them one card and they would have been fine...I should have Leia go on a shopping spree using one of his cards! And have her bring along some female rebels and spoil them. The dude really needs to learn to say no...**

**Reviews:**

**Dream Planes: And now you know where they came from...Vader ordered them for the guards cause Leia wanted them to have confetti guns instead of blasters.**

**LPK9: I know... The whole point of this is that only a handful of people know that Luke is dead...and those same people know that he's Leia's brother, and that Vader is their father. Which leads to chaotic fun since Luke and Leia are now trying to figure out how far they can push Vader before he snaps.**

**Review!**

**SkyTalon**


	5. Chewie and Maybe R2?

Han Tells Chewie!

Han glanced around the empty hallway, at least he hoped it was empty... he probably would know if Luke was there when Leia shows up demanding to know why he was insisting that he and Chewie sneak aboard the Falcon. Jogging across the hallway, he slipped to the hangar. Unlike the hallway, it was full to the brim with rebel pilots and mechanics as they either returned from a mission or prepared to go out on one. Han opened the Falcon's door, waving Chewie through the opening before entering himself. Closing it behind him, he turned to face Chewie. "I was beginning to think that I would never get to talk to you alone."

_"What's bothering Han? You've been rather stressed lately...and the High Command has been giving you very easy missions since... whatever happened to make you so jumpy." _Chewie growled, crossing his arms across his chest as he stared down his partner in crime.

Han ran a hand through his hair, his eyes darting around as if he still expected someone to be watching them. "You can't tell anyone! Alright?"

_"Han... What IS IT?" _Chewie raised his voice as he spoke, irritation starting to edge its way out.

"Shh!" Han shushed him, his eyes darting around frantically to look for any signs that someone had heard. "When Luke died... he turned into a ghost and has been haunting the base ever since. Leia is the only one that can see him... out of the rebels. The emperor and Vader can see him too." Chewie started to open his mouth to ask of that was all that had him nervous, only for Han to lift a finger up. "I'm not done. Ya see after the discovery that Luke _is _still with us, we discovered that Luke and Leia are twins separated at birth... and after that discovery we kinda, may have... found out that Vader is their biological father and um yeah..." Han ran both hands through his hair, sweat already beading on his forehead. "We've been doing family dinners with him... and I've been threatened to not break Leia's heart... and um... well... It was Luke's idea to renovate the holding cells on the Executor...and um... yeah. I NEED A BREAK FROM THEIR CRAZINESS!" Han collapsed unceremoniously onto the floor.

Chewie blinked slowly, none of that was what he had expected when Han requested that they speak privately, before bending down to pat the snoring man on the back. _"Looks like someone needs to just rest." _Pausing, he tilted his head to the side. _"Your secret is safe with us." _He glanced over to where R2 was frozen, with his little arm thing sticking into the ship. Apparently Han forgot that he had asked R2 to fix the hyperdrive.

R2 trilled loudly at that, before turning to go back to work. Chewie didn't acclaim to know binary...but he was pretty sure that the little droid just said that he already knew all of that. Or something along that line. Then again, if memory served correctly R2 used to belong to a Jedi master... so maybe he already knew about the twins and Vader. Shaking his head, he scooped Han up with the intention to tuck him into bed.

* * *

"Han!" Leia ignored the looks everyone was shooting her, even as she tore across the base to where his quarters were at, Luke trailing behind her. Knocking loudly on his door, she repeated her call. "Han!"

The door slid open as Chewie answered it. _"He's resting...and really needs it. Are you aware of how much stress you've been putting him under lately?" _

Leia groaned, Shryikokie **(A/N: Is that how you spell the Wookie Langauge? I can never remember)** was awful at best. "Chewie... We've got a dinner appointment that...well can I have Han please?"

_"I am sure Vader will understand if I went instead. Just tell him that Han isn't feeling good and I'm your chaperone on dates anyways so I can act as bodyguard."_ Chewie growled out.

Luke started, unlike Leia _he _could actually understand Chewie, leaning forward, he spoke up. "Wait... how do you know about Father? Also, he says that he wants to come in Han's place. As your personal bodyguard."

Leia's eyes widened at that, before she quickly calmed down. "I see. I don't see why you can't. But you've got a lot of explaining to do on the way over!"

_"Fine by me..."_

* * *

"So why did that no good smuggler came with you?" Vader glowered at the tall Wookie that was escorting his children this time around.

Luke plopped himself down on one of the chairs surrounding the large dining table, propping his feet on the table. "We told you already... Han wasn't feeling too good. So Chewie here volunteered to come with as personal bodyguard to Leia...since that way if she ever does get in danger... she doesn't have her angry sith lord father or dead brother...mainly dead brother, trying to protect her. We thought you would like that idea."

Vader was silent for several seconds, before he moved to sit down at the head of the table. "Very well. However if I hear that she receives so much as one scratch I am replacing you!" He glared at the undeterred Wookie. Turning to face Leia, whom had been sitting pristinely at the table the entire time, he changed the subject. "I've been thinking that Naboo does wonderful weddings this time of year..."

"Darthy... We've been over this already. Han and I aren't getting married just yet." Leia rolled her eyes, even as she picked her knife and fork up to cut into the seared steak that was placed in front of her.

Chewie nearly chocked on his own food upon hearing that, realizing that Han had left out _that _small detail. Luke stretched himself further out, his legs inching further onto the table. Vader didn't bat an eye as he spoke, his voice vibrating with refrained humor. "Luke... feet off of the table please."

"Yes father." Luke allowed his feet to fall _through _the table, more entertained by that sensation than the conversation about whether or not Leia was going to marry Han.

Chewie fought the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, positive that he had a migraine coming on. This was going to be _looong _dinner apparently.

**A/N: Done! Happy Late Star Wars Day! Believe it or not... I basically forgot about it this year. Oops. Oh well, Chewie now knows! And R2 (or did he already know..? :D). Chewie might confuse the Rebel High Command by suddenly getting very very very protective of Leia. Since the last thing she needs is a buckethead... I mean stormtrooper, following her around and acting as a bodyguard. Fun times! Poor Han... I think they should have left him out of some of their antics. Oh well... should I do one with Leia going on a shopping spree using Vader's credit cards?**

**Review!**

**SkyTalon**


	6. Father's Day! With Darthy! Oh dear

Happy Father's Day!

Vader was just finishing up his report on the search for the rebel base, marking it as unsuccessful so far despite the fact that it was _right _outside his ship's window. "Darthy!" "Father!" Vader paused, turning to watch as his children flew, quite literally in Luke's case, across the room towards him. "Yes children?"

"Happy Father's Day!" Leia handed him a package, one that he noted was oddly enough only signed by Luke.

Vader frowned for a few seconds, confused about what it was that she was talking about. Luke must have sensed his confusion, since he spoke up right then. "It's Father Day... you know? The one day of the year where one celebrates their old man? It is common for fathers to receive gifts on such occasions."

Vader felt like a fool. Shaking his head, he looked over at his offspring. "I... have never heard of Father's Day before..." If the loud screech of _what_ that escaped the twins were any indicator, that was the _**wrong**_ thing to say.

Luke and Leia snagged him by the arm and promptly dragged him off. "It's worse than we thought! We don't have to catch up all of the Father's Days that _we _missed! We have to catch up all the ones that _he _missed!"

Vader had a really bad feeling about this...

~Disneyland...Don't ask!~

Vader ignored the terrified tourists and employees as he stood rigidly in the middle of the street in the amusement park. The twins were...arguing nearby, about which ride they should go on next. "Yes! Father! Leia _finally _conceded to go onto Haunted Mansion!"

Vader sighed loudly at that, before striding after his children as they ran willy-nilly towards the attraction. Five seconds later, the line emptied very quickly when he entered it, the three of them were sitting in a doom buggy as it slowly carried them through the haunted mansion. All thoughts that this was crazy, especially since his son is an _actual _ghost, disappeared when Luke leapt out of the buggy and began dancing with the holograms that were supposed to be ghosts. A snigger escaped him as they moved to the next room, Luke keeping up with them easily. Okay...maybe this was fun!

...

Leia smirked as she dragged her father and brother away from the Haunted Mansion, heading straight to the ride that she had wanted to go on. It's a Small World's iconic sun beamed down on them as she stepped into the line... "No! Absolutely not! I am putting my foot down daughter!" Vader balked at the sight of the ride.

Leia ignored him, and the mortified/sympathetic looks that the crowds were giving her as they quickly fled away from Vader. "Come on Darthy! It's my _favorite _ride!" She batted her eyelashes at him, before climbing into the boat. Vader and Luke both groaned in unison as they sank into their seats. The boat lurched forward, carrying them into the first room full of singing dolls...and it was _that_ song! Vader burrowed his helmeted face into his hands, a groan escaping him. Luke joined him when Leia started to sing along and clap her hands in time to the song.

...

"I believe I should pick the next ride..." Vader hoped that speaking up now would allow his children to do something that he liked instead of what they liked. _Memories... we're forming memories here!_

"Sure thing Darthy, what is it?" Leia shrugged, even as she bit into her Mickey Mouse Pretzel that Vader just barely bought her.

Vader glanced down at the map that he was carrying, a small smile crossing his features. "Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters. It was your mother's favorite ride here..." _For good reason..._

"Sweet! Let's get goin then!" Luke took off instantly, leaving the two of them to run after him.

"Luke!" Vader ignored the weird looks that were shot his way, before hurriedly being diverted upon realizing that it was him.

...

"Oh come on! I thought that I could beat you since I was never able to beat Padme!" Vader whined as he strolled out of the gift shop, the newly purchased photos from that ride already safely tucked into a large sack with the other photos that they've been collecting.

Leia smirked as she lifted a water bottle up to her lips. "You do realize that I use a blaster as my weapon of choice...right?"

Vader huffed at that, before striding forward determinedly. "Remind me to teach you how to properly wield a lightsaber so that you can more effectively fight against the Empire."

Leia choked on her water upon hearing that. Luke peered curiously over at him. "Is Padme Mother's name?"

Vader started, before frowning. "Didn't no one tell you that beforehand?"

"No.." "First time that I heard that she had any children. I rather like her stand that she held during the Clone Wars."

Vader blinked slowly, before glancing up at the sky. "We have time for one more ride before I go back to pretending to do my job."

"What should we do then?" Leia frowned, not sure which ride they should go on next.

Luke and Vader grinned like maniacs before grabbing her by the arms, attempted to in Luke's case, and took off running. "I know just the ride!"

...

"Seriously? Space Mountain? Couldn't you just wait till we get back onboard the ship before enjoying the sights of hyperspace?" Leia complained as she picked up a toy spaceship up in the gift shop behind the ride.

Vader, who was nonchalantly buying out the supply of toy lightsabers, shook his head at her. "No child of mine should scoff at such a _magnificent _ride... besides that your brother enjoyed it!"

Leia wondered vaguely at his sanity...or her sanity. Whichever one needed to be questioned. She couldn't tell.

**A/N: Hello! This is a special for Father's Day! Hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Reviews:**

**Guest: Thank you! That's the goal here!**

**IDidn'tSignUp4This: Yes...Vader is impatient for grandbabies... he wants to prove that he will be a far better grandparent than parent. Hmm... I'll get around it. Luke might drive Leia up the wall with his fashion advice... IDEA!**

**Angel Talon: So sis...hod do decide if your gonna send me a review or just bluntly tell me to my face what your thoughts on my stories are? I'll try to do the shopping trip next time.**

**Review!**

**SkyTalon**


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